Say something about gay babies.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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