I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
