would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
