That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
