last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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