But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
