I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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