Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
