It's Friday. Sex?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
