ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
