it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
