Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
