Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
