Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How does one acquire holy water?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
