I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
