census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i think im in europe. pls send help
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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