I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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