can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
