lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
