You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
