hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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