You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
