is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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