woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
