He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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