We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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