you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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