We need to rekindle our bromance
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
