It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
