I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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