I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
