it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
