I smell stomach acid.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
