Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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