Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
