Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
