She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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