erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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