i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
well, you know. whores of a feather.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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