it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
