How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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