Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Less talking, more tequila
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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