she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
