Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
