I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
