New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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