rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize