i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
