i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
