How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
